Past 2008 Presidential     Campaign Stores

Bushisms

"And so the fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." --George W. Bush, Mesa, Arizona, May 27, 2008

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 13, 2008

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

"Oftentimes people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'" --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

"A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what's not on their mind." --George W. Bush, Sochi, Russia, April 6, 2008

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Late Night

"According to the National Intelligence director, only 30% of Afghanistan and its borders are under control by the government. Only 30%. Which sounds bad, until you realize only 20% of California borders are under control." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday on the campaign trail, John McCain said that he's in favor of change. That's what he said. McCain said, 'For example, I just switched from Cialis to Viagra.' A real change. Very nicely done." --Conan O'Brien

"Oh, and in his speech last night, John McCain said we must get off of fossil fuels. See, that's why a lot of people admire McCain. That's why he's considered such a maverick. Here you have a fossil, coming out against fossil fuel." --Jay Leno

"Hey, are you folks like me? Do you like drama in outer space? Well, maybe you know about this - the International Space Station, and there's Russian cosmonauts up there right now, and for the last month, the toilet has been busted. Yeah, you're laughing now, and just about now, people down in Houston are on the horn, talking to the Space Station saying, 'Did you jiggle the handle? Try jiggling the handle.' But don't worry about this: Halliburton is sending up a $2 billion plunger." --David Letterman

"Our vice president, our old friend, Dick Cheney got in some trouble, made a joke. Did you hear about this? Made a joke about West Virginia, but he apologized. He did apologize for the joke he made about West Virginia. Nothing yet on the Iraqi war." --David Letterman

"Hillary now says that she is winning the popular vote. And Al Gore said yeah, well, a lot of good that does." --David Letterman